I wish I was above just following your crumbs/I know they lead to nowhere/Are we still having fun?
Recently, Caroline Romano felt her emotions on the dramatic scale of an adolescent. Those feelings have since been sonically imprinted on her newest single, “Used By You,” a razors-edge song detailing the harsh, often unspoken realities of unrequited love. “It’s not sad or angry or negative, really. It’s just a lot of everything,” says the Nashville based singer.
Romano first arrived in Nashville when she was 13, after begging her parents to drive from Mississippi so she could participate in open mic nights around Nashville. Her first performance was at an old college bar in the West End. Just a kid singing to a bar full of people, Romano felt more alive and at peace than she ever had before.
“Nashville is a storytelling town, and I think my music will always reflect that,” Romano says. “The song comes first, always, and I love that about this city.”
Caroline Romano by Kelsey Runge
Now back to that chaotic, adolescent feeling. In all that emotional mayhem, one phrase stands out, replaying itself in her head: “I’d rather be used by you/than you be someone I lose.” Those words spoke to the gut-wrenching context of her then-unrequited love interest. Unable to shake the weight of those words, Romano felt obligated to do something with them. The verse acted as a confessional reflecting Romano’s then reality; she was hurting herself to keep someone in her life. Someone who, frankly, didn’t care if she stayed or went. Ashamed to admit that she had loved someone more than they loved her, the experience sparked Romano’s self-realization and her latest single. So she brought those haunting lines and a few bars to a studio session with friends Sam Varga and Caleb Oczkowski.
“I told them [about] the concept and idea, and from there, we had a therapy session [and] rehashing of certain events, which translated into “Used By You.’ It’s very conversational; just writing down lines as [we] talked about how I was feeling in real time. It was a very cathartic experience.” An entire experience that was also quick, concluding with a solid written and recorded demo in only a few hours.
“[I’d rather be used by you/than you be something I lose’] is a very cutting remark, a very brutal truth,” says Romano. “It’s something a lot of young people relate to in their first relationships.”
“Used By You” is a song for anyone who has waited for a call that never comes from someone who can’t decide whether to commit. But the next time you see them, they’re pulling out all the relationship stops, confusing the hell outta you. This is why I find the lyric “Are we still having fun?” to be the biting line of a viper. It’s the classic remark of someone who just won’t commit but insists on acting like a monogamous partner anyway—on their terms, of course. And when finally confronted about what your relationship is, they gaslight you with something cowardly like, “We’re just having fun.” (wait, didn’t you just get invited to dinner at their parents’ house…what?)
Or what about those nights you spent waiting in the freezing cold because your booty call won’t open the door to their weirdly barricaded apartment that looks more like an old prison—you feel like a stray no one wants. Shivering, you know that you’re not being treated right, and you should probably just go home (trust me, go the fuck home). This is the feeling Caroline Romano has managed to capture with “Used By You,” and while it’s as pinching as the cold you’re waiting in (maybe), you don’t have to be ashamed about your mistakes. Sure, you might have to kiss a lot of slimy frogs before you find a prince (or princess), tripping over yourself as you do, but who cares—especially if you get a song out of it.
And speaking of that cold feeling, that’s exactly what Romano wanted to manifest through the song’s prose, describing “Used By You” as “feeling like the dead of winter, [in] early January when there’s no coat thick enough to keep you warm.” Though at a loss to give that feeling a name, Romano attempts to meld that dead winter vibe into the sound. To find that sound, Romano revisited some of her alternative favorites like Holly Humberstone, Lizzy McAlpine, Evanescence, and Sleep Token.
Compared to her early work, Oddities and Prodigies (2022), and her 2023 EP, A Brief Epic, “Used By You” has a distinct, unique sound. While Romano has transitioned easily between genres before, there is something a little more complex in “Used By You.” Though her signature is stamped upon it, the track stirs something other than that winter feeling; in the listener. It’s indescribable.
“If I had to describe ‘Used By You’ in one word, it would be brutal,” Romano says, and lyrically, that’s certainly true. It is a biting track, as biting as the cold winter feeling you can’t shake and that dark night waiting outside an apartment building that looks like a prison (I think there’s a metaphor there). Musically, Caroline Romano teeters between a soft balance of alternative rock-pop, and she expects to stay there. Her influences are vibrant in her work—that mainstream rock sound that dominated the early 2000s. Perhaps she’s mastered that dead in mid-winter feeling too.
Since Romano processes her world—her life—through songwriting, it’s crucial for her to be honest, or the song won’t work. Being naturally introverted, it’s often frightening for her to release songs to the public. But she wouldn’t have it any other way.
“It’s always been daunting to be vulnerable in the songs I write,” she says when asked about her willingness to create so clearly and openly about her personal life. “But it’s the only way I know how to write. For me, songwriting is a way of dealing with, figuring out, and expressing my emotions. It’s therapy. My favorite songs from my favorite artists are always the most bold, intensely honest songs of theirs. Those are the kinds of songs I want to write.”
But being vulnerable isn’t—and hasn’t—always been easy. Always inclined for others to like not only her but also what she creates, Romano still struggles at times to ignore outside chatter. If she could tell her younger self anything, it would be to stop caring so much about what other people think, particularly about her work.
“Not everyone is going to like everything about you all the time, but that’s okay. You just have to own what you’re doing and believe in yourself. If you don’t, no one else will either.”
After all, remember that no one cares about your dreams; YOU have to care about them. The right people will notice if you do…and they’ll not only follow but applaud. That’s certainly been the case for Caroline Romano.
*Caroline Romano is prepping for a tour, kicking off April 26th. For more info, go to carolineromano.com “Used By You” is available on all streaming platforms.
*Cover photo by Kelsey Runge, Courtesy of Tallulah PR+Management